|
BOYHOOD (Directed by Richard Linklater)
By Eli Zeger
Boyhood is the 12 year-long cinematic endeavor of
director Richard Linklater, which involved him capturing actor
Ellar Coltrane on film over the course of his youth, from
age 6 to 18. Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette play the roles
of his divorced parents, and Linklater’s daughter Lorelei
portrays Coltrane’s sister. Taking 12 years to create
a fictional film like Boyhood sounds intriguing and
seems like an extremely tough feat; it could go well, or end
up being a bona fide shart.
I stumbled upon some reviews of Boyhood. 5/5 stars
here.
Grade A
there. Any other variation of a perfect review score everywhere.
The critics I came across loved and raved about the impeccability
of Boyhood. The New York Times proclaimed
the film
“a model of cinematic realism,” and Huffington
Post just called it “magic.”
All this worship reminded me of the response to another Linklater
film, Before Sunrise. Like Boyhood, it got
100% on Rotten
Tomatoes and every critic adored it. Despite it being
highly celebrated and revered, I found Before Sunrise
to be a
Niagara Falls of faux-philosophizing and navel-gazing.
Plausibly, I was skeptical about Boyhood’s
“flawlessness”.
Sure enough, Boyhood turned out to also be a deluge
of agonizing mundaneness. For twohours and 40 minutes, I watched
the meek Ellar Coltrane make his way through puberty. He got
oilier and angstier, and went off to college. Along the way,
Patricia Arquette kept marrying and splitting up with douchebags,
Lorelei was an asshole sister, and Ethan Hawke - well he just
had predictable conversations with his children. The storyline
was structureless, and the characters were two-dimensional
and cliched.
My boy Peter
Travers knows that the plot is milquetoast, too; but he
tries to flatter Linklater, excusing it as “deceptively
simple.” It feels like Travers should counterbalance
the premises’ simplicity, and follow with a statement
that specifically describes Boyhood’s supposed
exemplary traits. Instead, he calls Ellar remarkable, solely
saying that he interacts with his fellow castmates (as if
actors/actresses never interact with each other in movies.)
He also says that the cast’s acting is of the highest
rank. No examples specifically telling why/how he came to
that conclusion. Just ambiguous gushing from a malleable twerp
who loves something because all the other movie critics love
it. How pathetic.
Besides its banality, Boyhood’s 12-year limit
inhibits some of the characters from being more deeply explored.
For example, Ellar’s character Mason getst into photography
later on in the film. That actually interested me. I would
have liked to see where he went with that beyond high school.
And at the end of the movie, Patricia Arquette throws an asinine
tantrum because she feels her life was wasted. Does she seek
a therapist? Discover meditation? Maybe it’ll all be
explained in Manhood (which I’ll also be reviewing,
and most likely panning).
And then there’s the classic “Linklater Gets Philosophical”
crap. Like with the Before Sunrise screenplay, Linky
serves up spiritual-sounding garbage that’s totally
nonsensical. During the last scene of Boyhood (spoiler
alert ahead), Ellar gets stoned in the mountains with his
college buddies. Just before the film ends, he spits out the
phrase, “It’s always now.” The statement’s
minimalism makes it sound brilliant and inspirational. Honestly,
though. What the hell does that even mean? ”It’s
always now,” is the type of junk made into a gif on
Tumblr and reblogged by teen users trying to achieve poignancy.
Ok, I’ll loosen my grip around Boyhood’s
neck, because the soundtrack was actually good. There’s
The Flaming Lips, Yo La Tengo, Wilco, and Vampire Weekend.
This is indie rock at its finest, people. Sadly, Linklater
couldn’t even sustain the soundtrack’s decency,
adding a guitar-heavy remix of “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”
to the playlist. Yet another flaw of Boyhood.
When I watch a movie, I want to experience something aesthetically
pleasing and moving. I don’t need to waste my time viewing
a spiceless, monotonous attempt at encapsulating run-of-the-mill
teenage life on screen. I respect your explorative and daring
mind, Richard Linklater, but Boyhood is utterly terrible.
While some might compare Boyhood to finely aged cheese,
connecting the two with the idea that quality improves over
time, I think of it as aged milk - a gigantic carton full
of it - left to steep under the gigantic, hot sun for 12 years.
Want a sip?
JerseyBeat.com
is an independently published music fanzine
covering punk, alternative, ska, techno and garage
music, focusing on New Jersey and the Tri-State
area. For the past 25 years, the Jersey Beat music
fanzine has been the authority on the latest upcoming
bands and a resource for all those interested in
rock and roll.
|
|
|
|
|