Landlord
– Lifers – Bakery Outlet Records
Landlord out of none other than suck town,
U.S.A. - Bloomington IN - have been the first
thing out of the lamest town in the world
that I have found to be even listenable in
ages. This Hoosier state based trio, featuring
members of Defiance Ohio and The Door Keys,
do write some catchy songs that almost take
you back to that mid 90's “alternative”
sound. I won't listen to it again, but it
isn't necessarily bad. There are some great
hooks on this record, and some catchy as heck
choruses. The flaw, is that it sounds like
it was recorded in a garbage can, and I'm
guessing that this is intentional. Everything
down to the snare drums sounds terrible to
me. Weak guitar sounds, and a bass player
you can hardly hear to boot, some of the songs
ARE good, even if sang horribly off key on
purpose.
Street
Eaters – We See Monsters – Bakery
Outlet Records
This is a little bit much if you ask me.
This drum and bass outfit hailing from Oakland
California, completely miss the point. A song
is supposed to be catchy. Street Eaters bounce
from one style of punk to another, with male
female call and response vocals, that on the
male end are tolerable, and on the female
end are outright bad. They never really settle
into any sort of pocket, and the songs have
no structure. No to mention the parts that
seem to be choruses are more annoying than
catchy. Quit it.
Torture The Artist – Self Titled –
Kid Tested Records
This is some of the most west coast sounding
crap I've ever heard out of Indiana. What
the fuck does that mean? Well.. I'm not sure,
but it isn't good. In fact it's terrible,
like Bad Religion. Mass Giorgini and Dan Lumley
have definitely failed to impress me with
this record. (The man that I have at times
thought to be the best damn drummer in punk
rock does nothing interesting and fails to
break a sweat.) Torture The Artist hand over
one pretty, mid tempo, cheesy, over produced,
pop song after the other. Unfortunately it's
serious too, with no fun or attitude in sight,
and It just didn't move me. I'm having a hard
time making comparisons with this one, because
I've never heard anything that is as bad as
this is in it's own uniquely terrible way.
The Ex Gentlemen – Self Titled –
www.myspace.com/theexgentlemen
Now here's a pop band out of Hollywood, California
that knows what they hell they are doing.
To the point, catchy pop music, that is equal
parts Ramones and good Springsteen. (And for
confused Jerseyites, “good Springsteen”
includes his poppy tunes only. None of this
whinin about AIDS and little kids making shoes
shit) This four song EP is full of sing along
choruses that will bring punk rockers, and
Huey Lewis fans alike, to their knees begging
for more. The Ex – Gentlemen do a great
job of tipping their hat to great pop music
of the last 30 years, but don't lose their
punk rock edge in the passionate sing along
choruses. “Katie's Gonna Cry”
is one of the greatest rock n roll songs ever
written. (ever) Check these guys out. I'm
personally looking forward to some more.
Knife
The Symphony – Dead Tongues –
Phatry Records
So the last time these guys released a record
I gave my honest opinion of it, and a member
of the band wrote the editor of this fine
online fanzine and made shitty comments about
my record reviewing skills. So this time I'm
not going to try and butter it up. You guys
play fucking shit. Contrived, obnoxious whiny
ass emo, tailor made to sell to ninny boy's
in their girlfriends pants and their mothers
fucking eyeliner. Your vocalist pisses and
moans more than my bi polar ex girlfriend
on the rag, and there is nothing original
about your shit emo band. Finally, I'm sorry
to make you cry. But you're just gonna have
to fix up your eyeliner, get your hair together,
and get over it this time. When you send a
record out for review, you run the risk of
someone not liking it and printing it. However,
I tip my hat to Knife The symphony, they have
actually managed to make a worse record than
their last one. I'm sorry, but this stuff
just makes me fucking sick. Leave the symphony
alone, do the world a favor and knife your
fucking selves.
Droids Attack – Must Destroy –
Crustacean Records
Riff Oriented, Heavy Metal, that does absolutely
nothing for me. The band never seems to get
on with things, and just drill's “sick
riffs” into your head over and over
again. Finally after 17 minutes of some scary
black sabbath guitar the singer pops his head
in the door, with the reverb on 11, and says
some stuff that doesn't make much sense. At
least he doesn't sound like the cookie monster.
Protect 2 – Benefit Compilation –
GC Records/Scissor Press
This is a benefit album for the National
Association To Protect Children. Not only
is that a cause that I'll wholeheartedly support
but it's a kick ass comp too. I never heard
the first “Protect” compilation
record that was released by Fat Wreck Chords,
but I'm willing to bet this one is just as
good if not better. All the tracks are exclusive
to this comp, or were previously vinyl only.
Be My Doppelganger,
Fallen Reform, The Dopamines, The Copyrights,
Yesterday's Ring, Jack Killed Jill, Planet
Trash, and more. Get a kick ass record and
support an important cause.
Dan Webb and The Spiders – Self Titled
– Self Released
Coming out of Cambridge Mass, this is like
an East Coast answer to No Bunny. Great Low
– Fi pop music, reminiscent of the oldies
station that our parents listened to in the
car. The only difference is that Dan Webb
and The Spiders seem to be a little more serious
about what they do, which isn't necessarily
a good thing.
Hello
Shitty People – Self Titled (LP) - 1-2-3-4
Go! Records
This is a cool little record by an apparently
now defunct band. These guys touch on everything
cool that ever came out of punk rock in one
short blast of a record. They will remind
you Crimpshrine and Jawbreaker at times, but
have a sound that is uniquely theres. I won't
be throwing this record into the starting
lineup, but it will definitely get pulled
out of the sleeve from time to time. Also,
it's the first LP I have ever seen that spins
at 45, and it's not marked anywhere on the
sleeve or record, so it had me kind of confused
at first.
Noise
By Numbers – Yeah, Whatever... - Asian
Man Records
Fronted by the inimitable Dan Schafer, known
to the world as the one and only Dan Vapid,
Noise By Numbers does a good job of tapping
into the Husker Du, Replacements influenced
style of punk rock without falling off the
edge into the world of Emo. Being a fan of
most things Vapid, I personally enjoyed listening
to him venture into a new land in the world
of pop and once again walk out it's king.
The band is rounded out with a solid line
up of Jeff Dean on guitar, Rich Uncapher on
Bass and Neil Hennessy on drums and backing
vocals. The songs are all credited to Schaffer/Dean
and it's safe to say that the duo did a great
job of putting together a group of songs that
would hold onto the familiar feeling of Schafer's
previous output without failing to sound new
and interesting. This album has a melodic
almost emo feel, but it has balls too. I'd
suggest it to anyone that feels that the aggression
and angst of punk rock is only complimented
with a little bit of melody. “Seventeen
on the Wayside” and “Paris in
September” are my favorites, but the
entire album is strong.
Jello
Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine
– The Audacity of Hype – Alternative
Tentacles
First things first, a big “Fuck Yeah”
goes out to Jello Biafra for NOT doing something
that fans of The Dead Kennedy's would be totally
alienated by. No Spoken word, or silly lounge
music here. Jello has left the standup to
Henry and delivered a kick ass punk rock record,
that aside from the annoying song lengths,
is just as good if not better than anything
the DK's did in their hey day. Thats Right.
I said it.
The band comprised of of Ralph Spight, on
guitar and keyboard, Billy Gould on Bass,
Kimo Ball on guitar, and John Weis on drums
is damn good, and pulls off the obviously
intentional DK style in a much more polished
and precise manner that still has plenty of
dirt under it's nails. From the production
end this album sounds perfect on everything
I have played it on. The songs are great,
the packaging (I'm such a sucker for a nice
product) is cool with great art and a nice
fold out color poster. Lyrically the album
is everything you would expect from Mr Biafra
where in he tackles an array of political
issues that the country has faced in the last
decade. As far as delivering a good performance
vocally, Jello's voice hasn't lost anything.
His immortal flamboyant sneer and dramatic
vibrato is as in tact today as it was when
he recorded “Too Drunk To Fuck”
I think the nicest thing I can say about this
record, is that not only will it appeal to
the older DK fans, but it has the potential
to open a window to the past for the kids
of this generation.
Various Artists – No Idea Fest 08
2009 Sampler – No Idea Records
What we have here is a compilation record
featuring some of the great bands that have
been involved with No Idea records and Fest
8 this year. Some of the songs are good and
some are not so good, but for the most part
it's a pretty solid 33 song compilation record,
featuring bands from all different walks of
the punk rock life. Young Livers, FIYA, Bridge
and Tunnel, Dear Landlord, Psyched To Die,
and many more. Most, if not all of these songs
are previously released so it doesn't do much
for me in the sense that some of the best
compilations I have ever gotten have been
purchased so I could get one specific, exclusive
to the comp, by a band that I really like.
I can't count the bands I have gotten into
because of that exact scenario.. but that
has nothing to do to this comp, and I'm not
bitching because these people send kick ass
CD's every month. Solid comp. Get it.
The Len Price 3 – Pictures –
Wickedcoolrecords
This is terrible shit. Outright awful. This
band sucks, and I'll tell ya why. Because
they suck...thats why.
The Len Price 3 are yet another band tapping
into the Beatles and Byrds, British Invasion
retro sound, and they suck at it. Paul McCartney
sounding vocal lines, with perfectly executed
backup harmony's over some jangly chords,
with absolutely none of the grit and shuffle
that is a requirement for approval by yours
truly. If I wanted to listen to Wings (and
I DONT) I would listen to Wings (not likely).
If your gonna suck it's best that you suck
originally and this band doesn't. I can see
them with the little wigs and silly suits
at the block party doing “I Saw Her
Standing There” for the dancing elementary
school kids.
NOFX
- “Cokie The Clown EP” - Fat Wreck
– Chords
This is a cool EP by one of my favorite bands.
I have to say that the title track is absolutely
terrible. When I saw NOFX this fall at Riot
Fest in Chicago, they did this song live for
the first time, and I remember thinking it
was terrible, but cutting them some slack
because it seemed to have been just slapped
together. All and all it really is terrible.
However the other songs on this EP are awesome.
I love how this band can manage to play simple
punk rock so technically. These days it seems
that a lot of punk bands have regressed into
the “Ramones – Core” three
chord formula, or are taking themselves WAY
too seriously. It's good to see a band that
can play with the best of them and still write
fun songs. The song “My Orphan Year”
done acoustically is a hit in my book even
though a certain editor for a certain website
that I write for says it “borders on
bad emo” Did they use a cheap pitch
shift or do something in the studio to make
Eric Melvin's voice sound so digital?
Lawrence
Arms – “Buttsweat and Tears”
- Fat Wreck Chords
I commend Fat Mike. He does what he wants,
he signs the bands that he likes, he signs
bands that he has fun with. “Fuck yeah!”to
him. However, he apparently doesn't care if
the bands are any good because I haven't given
a positive non NOFX review for a Fat release
since the Loved Ones earlier in the year.
(That band Pour Habit is pretty cool though.)
I have to say I go into this release a little
bit biased. Brenden Kelly was kind of a high
school hero for my friends and I. Slapstick
(and in a lesser sense The Broadways)was one
of the band whose music was playing in the
background of my teenage years. In one form
or another, Brenden's voice was part of the
soundtrack for some of the best (and worst)
days of my life. I think Brenden's voice is
awesome on anything he does really, but I'm
so sick and tired of hearing people kiss the
guys ass like he's the messiah of college
town punk rock. I'm sorry, but that is exactly
the kind of music that Chicago's Lawrence
Arms make; dime a dozen pop music for “lost”
(read: financed) 20 somethings with silly
haircuts ruining bars they don't belong in.
The songs are perfectly constructed and boring,
dialed in for radio length, and produced to
the point that even the familiar grit that
made Brenden Kelly's voice one of the most
memorable in punk rock is gone. This record
can kiss my fucking ass. Hope this doesn't
get me beat up in Carbondale, but I'm sure
it's going to get a couple football players
laid.
I
Love Rich - “Seasons Of The Rich”
EP – Self Released
I like this band a lot. I Love Rich play
fun pop metal, reminiscent of big hair, spandex,
and hot chicks humping the hood of a Trans
Am. This is simply fun music, and I feel to
analyze it and pick it apart would be a crime.
Featuring Chuck E. Sleeze, otherwise known
as Chuck Uchida of No Empathy, the record
immediately caught my interest. The band is
solid, the songs are fun, and with titles
like “Let's Fuck all Night”, “Im
Only Here Cuz Your Sister Said No” and
“Everybody's Getting Laid Tonight”
you can't go wrong. One word: Fun.
The Fire Bombing – Self Titled –
www.myspace.com/thefirebombing
This is a cool little DIY release. I can't
say it's super interesting, ground breaking,
or mind blowing. It's not all that original
either. But it isn't bad. I've just heard
about a billion bands over the years that
sound exactly like this. Good effort, but
it really didn't make me want to get out of
my seat. I'm not sure even who to compare
this band too. It's run of the mill punk rock,
but thats not always a bad thing. I might
love this CD in a week. (Sidenote: A week
has past and I do not love this record)
Worn
In Red – In the offing – No Idea
Records
Worn in Red is one of the few “modern”
hardcore bands that impress me. Brenden Murphey's
voice is pretty standard as far as “hardcore”
bands these days go, and is really the only
major turn off for me. A lot of bands coming
from the Virginia area have a similar sound
as Worn In Red, however, what makes these
guys stick out is their ability to venture
into the area of “melodic hardcore”
without sounding like a whiny ass emo band.
I give it a thumbs sideways. I like some of
it, I can do without the rest.
No
Friends – Self Titled – No Idea
Records
Featuring members of Municipal Waste, New
Mexican Disaster Squad, Gatorface, and Virgins,
No Friends one thousand percent kick ass.
Finally a band calling themselves “hardcore”
that doesn't make my face scrunch up to the
thought “this is hardcore? Really?”
If you like real hardcore, as in hardcore
punk. (IE – Decendents, Minor Threat,
Black Flag, Gorilla Biscuits) than you will
like this record a lot. The coolest thing
about it was looking up after only a few minutes
and realizing that I was already on the 4th
track. In a time and day when everyone wants
to call themselves hardcore, but sound and
feel nothing like the bands that the term
“hardcore” invokes thoughts of,
it's as refreshing as it gets to hear a band
that finally has the goods and the energy
to slap the term hardcore on themselves. Fuck
yeah to these guys. We need more bands like
this to set the damn kids these days straight.
“Sans Opinions” is the best song
ever. (ever)
Dead
To Me - African Elephants – Fat Wreck
Chords
This record is hit or miss. Dead To Me do
a great job with the pop punk tunes on the
record and I love every last one of them,
however on the tunes that they decided to
venture out into more experimental genre's
they just totally lose my interest. They have
a great sound that reminds me of old No Use
For A Name on tracks like “Nuttin Runnin
Through My Brain” and “Fell Right
In” and pretty much totally blow on
tracks like “California Sun” and
“X.” Sadly, the good half is absolutely
fucking mind blowing, and the bad is super
bad (worse than Bad Religion. Really.) This
record is very west coast sounding, and you
can hear a lot of Sublime influence on most
of the tracks that I happen to not like. Like
I said, it's Hit or Miss. Kind of like Fat
Wreck Chords these days.
Star
Fucking Hipsters – Never Rest in Piece
– Alternative Tentacles
This band is trying to be interesting, and
as a result they suck. Nothing on this record
is catchy. Not a single damn hook that flows
smoothly. The vocals are absolutely terrible,
like someone chopped off the cookie monsters
balls. This vocalist, whose sex is unidentifiable,
defines awful and takes it to a new level.
Everytime he/she opens his/her mouth it's
like Nails going down a chalk board. There
are like 17 people in the fucking band too!
The lyrics are all “thought provoking”
(Read:Boring) and the band is trying so hard
to be “unique” that they completely
miss the point and totally lose my interest.
Star Fucking Hipsters are a bad band and Never
Rest In Peace is a fucking horrible record.
Next.
CoCoComa
– Things Are Not All Right – Goner
Records
This is a good record for fans of catchy
pop. In each of these songs, you can hear
one part Ramones, one part Stooges, and one
part Velvet Underground, tied together and
personalized into one pop masterpiece by this
Memphis based power trio. Johnny Thundersesque,
guitars, layered with some of the sweetest,
stickiest bubble gum vocals I have heard,
and most importantly infectious hooks that
you won't forget. I would suggest this record
to anyone that grew up in the back seat of
their parents car listening to the oldies
station, as some of these tunes will take
you back to beautiful simplicity that made
rock n roll special. Thumbs up to Bill Roe,
Lisa Roe, and Mike Fitzpatrick.
Snacktruck – Spacial Findings, 1 -7
– Rorschach Records
This is an instrumental. If you like space
sounds and emo and can pay attention to something
for seven fucking minutes while nothing exciting
happens this record is right up your alley.
Can I have the last 20 minutes of my life
back now?
ZINE REVIEWS
Razorcake # 53
I really like these guys! Razorcake puts
out a nice product, filled with all kinds
of great columns, reviews, features, and news.
Not to mention they have some of the best
damn add rates (cutting MRR's almost in HALF)
and if you havn't noticed, the rag is getting
hot, and replacing the boring and stagnant
recent issues of MRR on coffee tables and
in book bags around the country. It's about
damn time too!
Issue #53 features 13 columns that vary from
the whacky life of Reverend Norb to the thoughts
and views on living in Bangladesh and returning
to America by Amy Adoyzie. Six features, two
of which really caught my interest, a story
on No Bunny and a very informative article
on Artcore Fanzine. The reviews are fun too!
(Not as current as us here at Jersey Beat
of course, but still fun) A year subscription
is only 16.50, and like I said before the
add rates are awesome. Razorcake Rules.
Dagger # 42
I liked this zine. Not a lot of adds and
a lot of words, which is really cool. At first
look I was thinking it was a little short,
but I soon realized that the adds were few
and far between. Mostly interviews and reviews,
which is also cool, with a cool Mummies cover.
The editor of the zine seems to have had a
child, and the life of Dagger in it's print
form sounds shaky at best, but kids grow and
demand less attention in time, so keep looking
for it in the future, it's a cool little zine
if you ask me. Keep it up!
Chris Mattern's top 10 for 2009
Vortis - Self Titled
Psyched to Die – Year One
Pink Lincolns – Back From The Pink Rom
(reissue)
Dear Landlord – Dream Homes
Das Kapital - Self Titled EP
No Friends – Self Titled
Accelorators – Ready Set Go
The Taxpayers – A Rhythm in Cages
NOFX – Coaster
Pinhead Gunpowder – Kick Over The Traces
MATTERN
OF FACT - Reviews by Chris Mattern