MIKE MUIR INTERVIEW - PART 2

Q: That’s the kind of thing that follows you from childhood and you don’t even realize it: whether you’re in an office or in a band or just walking through the grocery store with other people looking at you funny, it’s something that we deal with for a lot longer than we’re supposed to. How do you guide your kids through something like that? Since you’ve had so much adversity, you’re probably a pro at teaching them how to ride that.

A lot of people that I know are constantly trying to live in the past and it’s amazing, the conversations when you break them down afterwards. When they have kids, they try to figure out which one’s gonna be in a band, which one’s gonna be the pro skater. Some of my friends try to make their kids be who they wish they could’ve been while the kid’s only 2 years old.

We’ve got skateboards, but I’ve never asked them to go skateboarding.

Q: Right, you offer it and you let them decide, that’s what I did too.

Exactly. Dad never told us what to do, and now my brother’s a pro skateboarder and I ended up in a band. He’s said that his only responsibility was to help us find something in life that we felt was important and hopefully be good at it. I don’t know what my kids want to be, I just hope they find something that they’re happy with. Do I want them to be in a band? I sure as hell hope not, I don’t want them in a band! But if they decide that, then I’ll support them.

Q: Yeah, it’s weird – my son wound up going that route and nobody encouraged it, it just happened by itself. Like, his dad played and it was there, but nobody said “Hey, you should do this” and then, when he lost his dad is when he picked up the guitar. I don’t know if it’s connected, but it’s weird how that happens, because nobody ever suggested it.

Yeah. When my own kid was about 7 (he’s 8 now,) we were at a big festival in L.A., tons of people, we were there all day. After we played, he was like “You know, Dad, I understand why people like you.”

Q: Aw, that’s sweet! I always figured that no matter how cool you are to the rest of the world, you’re never cool to your kids, so that’s pretty badass.

He’s got like an old soul, he’s very observant. He’d watch these other bands and say “You know, they’re all kinda the same. You’ve got style.”

Q: Nice, that’s a big compliment from an 8 year old.

He wasn’t even 6! There he was “I’ve seen a lot of bands.”

Q: I mean, I guess he has, but that is pretty funny coming out of his little mouth. That is huge, because usually they’re running the other way from you, you’re embarrassing.

Even funnier, people will come up to us and he’ll be like “Dad, is that one of your friends or was that just another band?”

Q: He already knows.

His perspective is that all of the people who are my friends are good people; he likes them. He feels comfortable around them because Daddy says that that’s a good person.

Q: They take a lot of cues from us, which is why it’s so crucial to set a good example, which some of us don’t do. It’s not about your lifestyle either, it’s about your value system and what you’re teaching these little guys.

The good thing about traveling around and doing this is that you do meet people who become more than just “Oh hey, how’re you doing?” You know that they’re good people; more than just a person who you become friends with because they live next door and it’s convenient. My son has a good sense; sometimes he’ll ask “Can I go with you?” and I’ll ask what’s the matter and he’ll tell me that there’s a guy around with whom doesn’t feel comfortable. I’ll look and I’ll be like “Wow, he’s spot on.” Not to judge people, but there are certain people that have that kind of thing.

Q: They have that air about them that’s not Kosher and the child is reading it.

Maybe they’re drinking a little too much or this and that, and he’s cued in on that. I think a lot of my friends could never cue in on that and I’d be like “Wow, you should’ve gotten the hell out of that situation.” That’s the thing that I feel best about, is that he gets that at such a young age, that he wants to be around good people.

Q: That’s helpful, because you’ll worry a lot less and have a lot less gray hairs that way. So, what is your year looking like to ring in the big 3-0 for Suicidal, you have any celebration plans fleshing out, any blasts from the past?

Nah, not really. We’ve got the new record out. Last night was the first night that we played some of the new songs live, so that’s always exciting, and tonight we’re gonna play some more. We’re rushing off of this tour after a month to get back and then play some festivals in Mexico. The blast from the past I guess would be the Orion Festival – Orion Festival is a new festival that Metallica’s doing - we did it last year with Suicidal. Last year, Metallica played 2 nights. This year, they’re doing it in Detroit and they’re only playing 1 night and the Chili Peppers are headlining the other night. Infectious Grooves will be on the lineup.

Robert Trujillo of Metallica, who was in Suicidal, we started Infectious Grooves together. The first tour we did, Stephen Perkins of Jane’s Addiction played drums, Bobby’s on bass, Dean, who is in Suicidal now, was the original Infectious guitar player and Jim Martin, of Faith No More, played the other guitar, so we’re pretty excited about that, that’s gonna be really cool.

Q: What made this the magical year, was it the 30 years, was it the number 13 connection to the 13 Hooligans from back in the day?

I don’t know, it is a legacy - a lot of people have been saying that it’s a great opportunity. Robert coming out, I’m really excited about this! We’re playing with Jimmy up in Frisco and we’re playing with Dean and Steven is down there, waiting for us to get back and practice. Everybody’s just really excited about it. There’s been really good feedback and it’s just going to be a really fun thing – a one-off, a very special thing. It’s great to be able to do stuff like that. Everybody’s bringing their families out there. They’ve all got kids too, so Robert is saying “Oh, we’ve got three days of practices; we’ll have a barbecue, everyone will bring their families, so we won’t be missing that much.” So it’s cool that they’re all like that too.

Q: I think that’s how it should be. When you start out playing together as kids and you become men and then men with families, you should become an extended family, I think it’s the only way it works.

Well, my dad always said that you’ve got 3 families, you know? You’ve got the family you’re born into, your mom, your dad, your brothers and sisters, and you’ve gotta work through it, you can’t change it, that’s the way it is. Then you get older, you’re in school, you’re 12 or you’re 13, and you take on a family which is your couple of friends who live close by and you have the same classes in school; it’s a convenience thing. Then you have the third family when you get married or whatever and have kids, and you kind of repeat the pattern, but hopefully you repeat the good stuff. The stuff that you don’t like, you remember, so you don’t do that.

So, I think it’s life, you have to look at that. For a long time, I’d always say about the Suicidal family – we have a very strong family thing and we’re very lucky, too.

Last night, there were so many people that were there with their kids and vice-versa. This tour, so many people have been coming up to us saying “You know? I’m finally getting to see you, I’m so glad. I’m going with my uncle,” or “My mom’s taking me” or this and that. You have people saying “The first show that I ever went to was Suicidal and now my kid’s 12 years old and I wanted his first show to be Suicidal.”

Q: That’s so cool.

This girl came up to me and she was like “Can you sign this?” and I said yeah. She says “Oh thank you, it’s for my mom, she just loves you” and then she stopped and she went “Well, I love you too, but she’s loved you longer.”

I looked around like “Did anyone else hear this?” because I just thought it was so funny. We did a show in AZ which was the only time that I know of that 4 generations of a family that were there: the great grandfather, the grandfather, the mother and a 12 year old kid.

Q: That is fucking cool, wow.

There were 27 of them. They said “You know we’re all family, right?” They came from the reservation. I was like “Wait a minute, where I come from, we’ve got what’s called ‘play cousins;’ they’re cousins, but they’re not your cousins, but you guys are all related?” They were all related. I was like “Well, I’ll be your play cousin now; we’ll be 28.” It was the coolest thing ever.

One of the tour managers from years ago came back and brought their kid, and he was taller than me! I was like “Whoa.” You have so many stories where these kids would come up and say “My mom and dad would just like to say thank you to you, because I wouldn’t be here without you. They met at a Suicidal show.” I said “Ah, man, let’s get a family photo, so you remember that when you get back.”

Or I’ll get a letter “Can you talk to my kid? He’s having a little trouble in school. I tried talking to him, but could you maybe talk to him?” It’s like “Yeah! When we get together, I’ll talk to him, tell him to watch that.”

It’s just like a really cool thing.

Q: Is the connection with the fans important, do you think? Do some bands kinda miss the boat on that?

It’s just people, you know? The best thing in life is people and the worst thing in life is people. When you meet good people, you leave with a smile on your face. You don’t realize it until you look in the mirror and go “Oh wow, I’m smiling.” Good people trying to be good people, doing good things for the right reasons. Hanging around bad people is kinda like being in an outhouse; whether you’ve shit or not, you’ll smell like it. Like the club with all the smoke, it dulls your senses. You don’t smell it anymore, but when you grab your clothes in the morning, you’re like “Whoa!” People are people, and when you accept that, good things happen.

Q: So wait, are you like a hippie now? Are there not gonna be anymore side of the bus fights, you’re not getting kicked out of anywhere?

I actually hate hippies. Wear flowers and smoke pot and everything’s gonna magically be better.

Q: Well, it just seems that way because you’re wasted.

Nah, you get out there and you go to war. My dad said war is WAR – wrong against right. It’s war, if you’ve got to take that battle, now fight. That’s not philosophical, that’s not religious, it’s not an ideology statement. That’s a human decency statement.

Q: Yeah, but wait a minute, Pops, that’s a very subjective term, right and wrong. That’s a very individualistic perspective.

There are a lot of things that people will take an approach toward because of politics, because of religion – they’ll argue it even though their intelligence would tell them otherwise. It’s absolutely undeniable: there’s a fine line and then there’s a valley. A lot of things are just undeniable. Undeniable. That Kum Ba Yah stuff? That ain’t gonna work, and it’s going to give false hope to an awful lot of people who would otherwise get out there and do something about it, but they’re just like “Oh okay, I’ve got a party here, so..”

Q: Fair enough, but wouldn’t it be cool if we could all do the Kum Ba Yah thing? Wouldn’t it be great if we were all like “You know what? We like each other now, fuck fighting.” That’d be badass, wouldn’t it?

It’s unrealistic.

Q: I know.

To me, that’s like Miss America: “If I had three things, it would be no starvation, world peace…”

Q: “And a better butt!”

“And I could pet all of the animals in the zoo.” It’s like, please. It’s a great sound byte, but unless you’re going to put in the effort and put a bite into it, it doesn’t mean anything.

I believe that you have to have realism to change things. Some people say “Well that’s the way it is.” I say “What do we have to do to fight it?” Like my dad said, with anything that’s a challenge, there’s an alternate way to do it. Some people will see a wall, and they’ll get up and they’ll run, and they’ll crash into it, “Motherfucker” and they’ll keep crashing into it, and you go “Wow.” They just keep getting back up. They just keep doing it and there’s no way they’re going to knock it down. Others just go over, open the door and get on the other side, “Okay, what’s next?”

Some people make things way harder than they are, you know? Save things for the right fight. It’s all perspective, it’s true. It’s all subjective, true. But you know what? Happiness is something that’s absolute.

Q: Is that what you attribute Suicidal’s endurance and appeal to, the idea that everything is supposed to be how you like it, but it’s supposed to be realistic, too?

I think that no matter how bad things are, if you can admit that they’re bad, then you have a shot. Never give up, you know what I mean?

Q: I think that’s a really good message to kids starting out: never give up.

There are so many justifications that you can give to not accomplishing things that you want to accomplish – not what other people tell you to. You find that a lot. “Well, I really want to do this or that.” “Really, you really want to do that?” “Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, really, really.” “So what have you done about it?”

Q: Nothing.

“Okay, so let’s go back. You don’t really want to do that.” “No, no, I do!” “You really want to do it, but what have you done? Okay, so don’t tell me that it’s something that you want to do.” “But I do!” “Then why haven’t you done anything?” “Oh, because you know how hard that would be.” “So you don’t want to do it, that’s the point.” That’s what my dad taught me – he wouldn’t let me get away with the bullshit. “Find something that you want to do.” “But I really want to do that.” “No, you don’t, because you’re not willing to put the effort into it.”

Q: You’re totally right. At the end of the day, if you’re not taking any steps, and you’re not willing to take any risks, what are you willing to do? If the answer is not a whole lot, then how badly do you really want it?

Exactly. My dad always said “Don’t have the blinders on.” Climb the tree, just don’t use only 1 branch. You might go on the other side and go “Wow, I can see the ocean here.” Just don’t feel that it’s Point A to B. Make sure you’re aware of everything that’s going on. Don’t try to lie to yourself and say “Well, it’s getting a little bit hard, I’m just going to get off this side right now.” My dad would not ever let us feel sorry for ourselves.

You meet people like that over the years, who are grown up and in a band, I don’t like people trying to feel sorry for themselves. I’ll feel sorry for you if you’ve got nothing to eat or something, but there are so many of my friends…

I saw one dude yesterday, just came from Poland, won the Green Card lottery, married a Brazilian chick, ended up she had health problems, she had to have a heart transplant. She’s pregnant, they don’t know if the baby was going to live, and now she had to go back to Brazil, because she wouldn’t be able to get a heart transplant here, it would be quicker there.

He had to leave his wife and his baby, they don’t even know if the baby is going to live because it’s putting his wife in jeopardy. If she has the baby, it might have killed her, they might have to remove the baby so that she could live. And his father has cancer.

Q: Oh my God! Talk about shitty Karma, and he’s probably a nice guy too. It’s hard to understand why there’s shitty Karma for nice people.

He’s a great guy, and I said “You know what? There are so many people who whine and bitch and then there’s always these cases where I just go “Wow, you don’t even know.”

Q: Well, that’s when I feel sorry for myself, because how come like the biggest douchebag in the world is having a great time while the nicer people are getting shitted on? That’s when I’m like “What’s up, Karma?”

Yeah, that’s one of those things. To hear something like that and for him just to be so strong, I go “Wow, you know what, he can handle that, it’s amazing.” I have massive respect for him, but when someone else says something and they start feeling sorry for themselves and start whining and bitching, it’s like “You know what? Nah. ”

Time is everybody’s worst enemy.

Q: Tell me about it.

They’re like “Well I could’ve done something else, I’d’ve done this.” And I’m like “Well…”

Q: Are you dead?

Two days ago, weren’t you saying the same thing? It’s today, if you still cared about it today, you would’ve done something that day when you first told me about it. Are you in the cemetery yet?

My sister, when she was 28, she went back to college, got 2 Masters. She was saying “Oh, I’m too old.” My dad goes “You know what? It doesn’t matter if you do it or if you don’t do it – time’s going to keep on going, whether you do or not.” And then she thought about it and she was like “No, I’ve got to do it.” Everybody was like “Why’ve you gotta do it now?” Now she’s got the 2 Masters and what do they say? “Wow, I wish I would’ve gotten what you got.”

Q: I want to wrap up with an interesting idea based upon what you’ve been saying. I want you to take a track off the new album - any track you like – and I want you to tell me about it, but then I want you to tell me what your dad and your son would’ve thought of it.

Um…I think “Make Your Stand.” My dad I think would nod his head. My dad was a teacher, he got involved in a lot of students’ lives. I think he would sit there and go “Yeah. Yeah.”

Q: And what would your boy think?

My son I don’t think would understand. The way that he looks at me; I look at my dad as a rock, you know, but in a good way, and I think he looks at me that way. I don’t think I’m as good as my dad.

Q: Well, only your son can make that determination at the end of the day. You’re not supposed to think you’re as good as your dad.

Yeah…but I think he honestly believes that I’m a great dad, and I try to be a great dad, but I don’t think he really knows that I’ve had struggles with all types of things. I think when he gets older, he’ll understand.

Q: He will, but he’ll love you anyway, that’s just how that works. They learn, they process it, they forgive you for it, and then that’s it, you’re good to go, as long as you’ve been straight up, they’re not going to judge you. Unless you fucked them over, then that’s different.

Alright, why don’t you tell me about the song now? Tell me about “Make Your Stand.”

I think “Make Your Stand” kind of goes back to what we were saying about time. Everybody kind of like retreats, they don’t face what they need to face and it gets worse and worse and the odds get worse and worse. There comes a point where you’ve got to dig in, you’ve got to make a stand. You’ve got to stand up and believe in yourself. You have to be prepared and not just close your eyes and say “Okay, I’m going to take a beating.” You have to say “No, I’ve got to fight for myself.” You’ve got to flip your mind. You know: “I’ve done a lot of things I don’t like, a lot of things that I wish I could take back, but I can’t, so from this moment on, I can take control.” Make that stand, stand up for yourself.

Q: Make that stand. It’s simple, but it’s good advice, and I think that everybody would probably be a lot better off if they would think that way. Mike, I want to thank you so much for your time. It’s been great talking to you, I had a lot of fun.

Great, thank you very much, I appreciate that.

back to jerseybeat.com l back to top