WARPED TOUR – 2010 (Uniondale, NY)
Alchemy Sounded Good at the Time
(then again, so did binge drinking)
By Deborah J. Draisin and Damien V. Ellinghaus
Another year, another Warped Tour. Although this one at
least had the decency not to be quite as hot and sweaty
as last year, we also weren’t sure if it would be
quite as epic as last year’s (and really, what could
top a lineup like NOFX, Bad Religion, Less Than Jake and
Flogging Molly?) That being said, the bands that we were
able to catch made the sweat more bearable.
This year’s lineup was considerably harder-edged than
we’ve seen in prior years; the lineup being almost
indistinguishable from that of Taste of Chaos (is Lyman
intentionally blending the two, one might wonder?) In fact,
the only real punk bands on the bill this year were The
Casualties and Sum 41 (if you want to count the latter as
such, which, judging by the makeup of their pit, is debatable.)
The rest of the space on the lineup was taken up strictly
by hardcore, death metal and (unfortunately) what Damien
has dubbed “long-haired, auto-tuned, tight black-shirted
popcore.”) Said bands (who shall still remain nameless,
although we’ll give you a hint: they may or may not
like crustaceans) attracted an audience full of swoopy-haired
scene kids unwilling to pit in the interest of preserving
the condition of their makeup. Note that Damien, who is
not the largest person there by any stretch of the imagination,
emerged from the circle bearing three shots to the head,
one to the nuts and a pair of shattered eyeglasses –
now that’s dedication, my friends!
Anyway, enough bitching about the fact that Warped Tour
is no longer a punk scene (because let’s face it,
we’re all tired of hearing it) and on with our completely
objective (ha!) review:
 Every
Time I Die
Deb says: What an awesome way to start out the day (unfortunately,
Damien missed most of their set because his best (ha again!)
friend opted to drag him to see Attack Attack! – more
on that in a moment, but ETID vocalist Keith Buckley has this
to say on the blending of genres this go-round.) This band
(ETID, I mean) never disappoints. The first time we ever caught
them live, they were one of three opening bands for Underoath
at the Nokia Theater in 2007. We had heard wonderful things
about Underoath’s live set, but after having the doors
blown off the place by ETID, Underoath simply failed to warrant
similar enthusiasm. I found myself wondering how many mainstage
performers were secretly dreading being blown off the stage
by this band – they’re that fucking epic.
A lovely version of “Floater” had Keith severely
doubting that anyone there would actually recognize the tune,
which I was nice enough to catch on tape for other well-versed
fans like myself. Also caught on tape was this wall of death
moment. You know the band’s amazing when they can get
kids to circle like that shortly past noon.
Damien adds: Aside from everyone being exactly on cue with
their instruments with buzzsaw-like precision while Keith
somehow manages to run around screaming at the top of his
lungs in a flannel in the middle of the summer (not even Four
Years Strong did that and they have a song called “Flannel
is the Color of My Energy” – ‘nuff said.)
The energy during their set would’ve blown the roof
off yet again had it…you know, had…a roof.
If you’ve never caught ETID’s live set, do so
immediately – you’re doing yourself a grave disservice
otherwise!
Attack Attack!
Damien says: So, my bestie dragged me to this show (a band
that he knows I hate, by the way – hmph, some best friend
he is!) rather than allowing me to enjoy ETID, who I know
are good. Right before Attack Attack! came out, they started
playing a techno song (which is usually a bad sign,) and sporting
matching tight black shirts, blue jeans and, of course, long
wavy hair (ala Aaron Gillespie.) Uh oh!
Now, I’ll always give a band a shot - sometimes their
live set will turn out be amazing despite a lackluster album.
Once their set began, though, I could tell that this was NOT
going to be the case with them. I think that the thirteen
and fourteen year old girls sporting similar hairdos to their
own were more brutal.
I mean, for what’s it worth, they did sound quite similar
to the album, although that’s not really saying much
considering that all of their songs consist of no more than
five chords and three consistent drumbeats (unless you count
the various combinations of breakdown, of course.) Their songs
are every bit as uninspired as one might expect them to be,
and new vocalist Nick Barham was unable to replicate his screams
live.
Then, as if this atrocious display wasn’t bad enough,
get ready for the biggest joke ever: they had the audacity
to dub themselves “the heaviest band on the Warped Tour!”
Go ahead, mull that over for a second. That’s right,
on a Warped Tour featuring heavy-hitters like Suicide Silence,
Whitechapel and Parkway Drive, these dudes think that they’re
the most brutal in the lineup. Tri-tones and a thousand breakdowns
within a single song does not metal make, brothers.
If you’ve never heard this band live before, and would
like to know where I get off being so mean to them, check
this video out. Generic blandness.
What do I know though? Apparently, it’s all about the
chugs nowadays. Oh, and getting crunk, obviously.
 Parkway
Drive
Deb says: I took a lot of my cues from Damien this year about
which bands I should check out, and Parkway Drive was high
up on that list. I know that they’re Australian (and
so is my best friend) so naturally, I was curious. Boy, was
I surprised to see them knock it out of the park! This childlike
quintet had so much energy, it was infectious. Their little
knot of diehards lit the spark by singing along as vocalist
Winston McCall and newer bass player/ex merch guy Jia O’Connor
leapt about the stage.
I found myself attempting to memorize snippets of lyrics so
that I could sing along with everyone. Their set went by way
too fast for me – we all pleaded with them to stay longer,
but you know how strict the Warped nazis are about timeslots
and all (not!)
Damien says: Parkway Drive is one of the best metalcore bands
out there, hands down. In terms of aggression, ferocity, speed
and intensity, Parkway Drive just nails it. The breakneck
pace never lets up for one second and pitgoers have mere seconds
to catch their breath before jumping into the next circle.
Everyone in this band is superbly talented and they were flawless
live. Overall, way worth the beating I caught in this pit.
Alkaline Trio
Deb says: I never get tired of the Trio. I have “Help
Me” as my new answer tone and I caught them for the
first time at the Nokia earlier this year (finally, three
years of scheduling failures and fund inavailability paid
off.) They never run out of material and every set is completely
different from the next. This go-round, loyalists were treated
to gritty renditions of “ ’97 “ and “Private
Eye” (which I tried to capture on tape, but was foiled
by the damned Warped winds yet again. Curses!)
I know that bands get sick and tired of constantly having
cameras shoved in their faces while attempting to actually
interact with the crowd, so it was a cool little moment when
Skiba caught me singing along while filming – I was
rewarded with a smile.
These war veterans inspire such intense adoration from their
fans that any lull in sound is fodder for declarations of
love, which always gets a wave in return from the band members
themselves.
Damien says: Though not exactly what one would consider a
“true” Warped band, per sè, seeing as how
Skiba and Co. are - for all intents and purposes - the quintessential
emotional hardcore band, they never fail to give you that
gooey, happy feeling inside, plus Skiba is so adorable, how
could you not just want to eat him up?
Our pit reporter, Deb Draisin
Emmure
Deb says: From what I could tell, way over by stage right,
Emmure really had the crowd going. Vocalist Frankie Palmeri
was practically in the pit himself, holding the mic out to
fans screaming themselves hoarse right along with him. I haven’t
really given the band a listen (Damie just gave me a quick
crash course,) but it looked rather impressive from where
I was standing.
Damien says: Impressive is quite the overstatement, says this
bystander. Emmure kind of sounds like someone taking a baseball
bat and bashing a bag of kittens with it over and over again.
Deb interrupts: Why the hell would anyone want to bash a bag
of kittens??
Damien responds: You wouldn’t, just like you wouldn’t
want to listen to Emmure! Emmure can be summarized in two
very simple words: tri-tone breakdowns.
Deb protests: That’s exactly what you said about Attack
Attack!
Damien explains: Which brings me to my second point: stop
making shitty “metal!”
Deb asks: So are you even going to comment on their actual
set?
Damien admits: They were energetic live, but when all you
have to do is play downstrokes for an entire thirty-five minutes,
I suppose you have to find something to keep yourself occupied
with. If you like basketball jerseys and shorts, tilted hats
and hitting girls, then Emmure just may be the band for you
(and you are definitely not the person for me.)
Set Your Goals
Deb says: Honestly, if Dillinger hadn’t played, this
set would have been my pick of the night. SYG was a whirlwind
of activity: vocalists Matt Wilson and Jordan Brown spent
the entire set sidling back and forth across the stage extensions
with their arms extended toward the crowd while remaining
the band members (drummer Michael Ambrose, bassist Joe Saucedo
and guitarists Audelio Flores, Jr. and Daniel Coddaire)
kept up a punishing rhythm in back of them.
If you weren’t an SYG fan before this set, you were
by the end of it, and I am no exception. Damie tells me
that I truly missed out by skipping their Crazy Donkey show
this past spring, and I have to sadly agree. The next time
they come around, I am so there.
Alesana
Deb says: As worth the trip as SYG was, the second half
of Alesana’s set which I was able to catch made me
regret having missed any of it. Alesana was straight-up
brutal; they were on fucking fire. Vocalists Shawn Milke
and Dennis Lee could easily have riled that crowd up straight
into a frenzy had they wanted to – these dudes put
Durst to shame.
Damie says: Go ahead, sue me: yeah, I’m a person who
loves thrash metal and hardcore punk, yet also likes Alesana.
Don’t let the long hair and matching outfits fool
you – these guys are hardcore. Dennis Lee, who essentially
looks like a ‘roided-out, more heavily tattooed version
of Bert McCracken (except he just sticks to beer) runs around
ripping his shirt off and getting in the crowd’s faces
while clean vocalist/rhythm guitarist Shawn Milke does crazy,
flippy things with his guitar and sings in a whiny yet somehow
soothing tone.
They have three guitarists (Milke, Pat Thompson and latest
addition, Alex Torres,) meaning that every song is a full-on
sonic blast right in your face. Drummer Jeremy Bryan is
absolutely nasty in every way. Alesana is also surprisingly
funny for a band that sings about killing and love and all
that good stuff. Definitely worth seeing.
The Dillinger Escape Plan
Deb says: Hands down, by a landslide, my favorite set of
the day. The second that these dudes announce another tour,
I am so there. Dillinger is like a tornado: every single
band member (the quintessential “mathcore” lineup
of vocalist Greg Puciato, guitarists Ben Weinman and Jeff
Tuttle and bassist Liam Wilson,) is rolling around, hopping
up onto things, leaping off of them again, rolling up into
the crowd, generating nonstop movement while drummer Billy
Rymer pounds out every song flawlessly.
You know a band is amazing when they make a great cd sound
like shit because the songs are that killer live. I had
the best time watching them and I never wanted them to leave.
Believe me, no matter how crappy you feel after schlepping
around all day in the bruising heat, rushing from stage
to stage, dying of thirst and getting the shit kicked out
of you by careless pitters, Dillinger is every bit as done
as you are by the time they leave the stage.
This band gives it their all and then some, and from what
I’m hearing, they do so every single time. If you
never catch another band live again in your lifetime, make
sure you catch this one.
 The
Casualties
Their format hasn’t changed in years, but I’m
okay with that. Jorge and Jake’s liberty spikes, the
well-trodden anthems that are “For the Punx”
and “Punk Rock Love” and the awesome rendition
of “Blitzkrieg Bop” were a breath of fresh punk
air to liven up the place. Say what you will about Warped
Tour not having to stick to a punk format; the presence
of these vets and their appreciative fanbase is always going
to be what Warped is all about for me.
However, this is my third time seeing them and still no
“Get Off My Back” – you owe me, Casualties!
Vocalist Jorge Herrera felt compelled to take a shot at
the goings-on at the stage next door, where Sum 41 was getting
ready to play: “Looks like we’ve got a lot of
teenyboppers at Warped this year – I feel bad for
you guys.”
Which brings me to…
Sum 41
I’m not going to lie, their set was a huge disappointment
for me. I was looking forward to seeing these punkers in their
element (and despite what you may think, they are true punks,
or, well, they were.) Perhaps it was due to the complexion
of the crowd (for whom the band felt obligated to play their
more commercial pop hits) or perhaps Jorge sucked the wind
out of their sails, but either way, their set was lackluster
at best, and death on two legs at worst. Even security was
annoyed, and trying to bar the seventy-five members of the
press who had apparently crawled out of a wormhole someplace
just for this particular thirty-five minutes from entering
the photo pit. I took some photos but wound up deleting them
all, as I knew I wasn’t going to stick around for the
remainder of this set. I sincerely hope that things pick up
for them in the second leg of this tour, and that the Avril
association hasn’t done them in.
Four Years Strong
Damien says: Four Years Strong (along with Set Your Goals)
are the current leaders of the pop-punk scene. Blazing the
path with majestic beards and flannels as colorful as the
prettiest rainbow you’ve ever seen, their metal-pop-punk
hybrid form of music has inspired newer bands across the
globe. Although they don’t take themselves too seriously,
they don’t take themselves too lightly either. The
opening to their live show consisted of two women brandishing
flags while the band played royal music behind them - like
an entrance for a King. Once onstage though, it was all
business as they launched into their hit single off their
new album, Enemy of the World, “It Must Really Suck
to Be Four Years Strong.” It was no holds barred,
furious tremolo-picked power chords galore. No jokes were
told at this set, as Four Years Strong says all that they
need to in their songs. Safe to say that there was a lot
of jumping. If you like double bass, happy-go-lucky punk
rock and beards worthy of Paul Bunyon status, then FYS is
the band for you.
Whitechapel
Deb says: It’s a long day, Warped Tour is, and by
7:00 one is more than ready to hit a burger joint followed
by a long stay in an air-conditioned bedroom with a liter
of ice cold liquids by their side, so I texted Damien to
see how he thought we should end the day. Without a drop
of hesitation, he said Whitechapel was the way to go out.
As fried as I was, I was able to muster up a last bit of
energy to demonstrate my approval for this hard-hitting
set. It kind of felt like the final backfiring of a cannon
after a war for me. The band was kind enough to keep the
songs flowing and the conversation to a minimum as they
assaulted my tired senses with unforgiving metal vaguely
reminiscent of my L’Amour days. I’m glad I chose
to end my day this way, even though I’m hearing that
Suicide Silence was even better. Next time, I suppose.
Damien says: Scariest. Fucking. Wall of Death. Ever. It
kind of looked like that scene in 300 when the million Persians
charged at the Spartan 300 in that little overpass thingy,
only this was even scarier. Also, the pit was roughly the
size of Massachusetts. I wish I was making this shit up.
Aside from the insanity going on off the stage, Whitechapel
plays their brand of death metal flawlessly and effortlessly,
even throwing in some improvisation along the way.
They themselves are not that energetic, but the sheer force
and magnitude at which their music shakes the very foundations
of the earth is more than enough to get a crowd amped. Suicide
Silence can suck it!
And so, another year goes by, and another Warped Tour draws
to a conclusion. Although the show definitely could have
used some more punk and maybe less shitty metal and more
straight-up hardcore and true metal, I suppose it was worth
the endless amounts of sweat and blood that was poured into
the soil by Yours Truly. I wonder what surprises are in
store for next year. I swear to God, if Attack Attack! comes
back though, Kevin Lyman will burn on the cross. Mark my
words.
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